A Case Of Mistaken Ewww
by Gojirob
Summary: When Julie comes to a familiar misguided conclusion, the cousins are at a loss to place it.
1. Chapter 1

A Case of Mistaken Ewww...

by Rob Morris

All Ben knew at first was that Julie wasn't speaking to him, and that this once, he was certain of his innocence.

Then, unbelievably, he learned from Kevin that Julie had, after speaking privately with Gwen, shoved her over and left Gwen's home. Upon arriving, he pointed at Kevin.

"You go to Julie. You demand an apology. Unless Gwen disfigured her, you push past until she does."

Since Kevin was in a mood to do just that, he acquiesced and left while Ben attended to the cousin who, for affection and for when she entered the world, may as well have been a twin sister as well.

"I really don't get it, Ben. She said you were on your best behavior, so it wasn't anything like that. We-were talking."

"Girl stuff about girls, or girl stuff about guys? C'mon, Gwen. She can be a bit of a mine field, but getting this upset, even with me, is usually not in her."

Gwen was about to counter Ben, perhaps typically, but in fact Julie had done something wholly irrational but also not violent enough to suggest possession, so she conceded the point and moved on.

"Mine field is right. It was guys. We were talking first real kisses-Ben-"

He waved his arm.

"Not stupid enough to go there, and I know it wasn't me, so just keep going, edited for her privacy and my not getting yelled at."

Gwen nodded.

"Well, she never got to say her first. I said mine. I said, how it was this stupid boy I hung around with endlessly, and how it just happened when we were bored out of our minds, and it was nicer than we thought, and how we backed off like immediately. Then-she's shoving me over and stalking off. I scanned her for any unknowns, but nothing came up."

Ben had already known Gwen's story. He had been there. But his confusion remained.

"Why would Julie care about you and Larry DeWitt?"


	2. Not So Mistaken Ewww

Not So Mistaken-Ewww

by Rob Morris

Emerging from the portal, back into their own world, two cousins of great power, skill and savvy looked pale, and not a little nauseous.

Ben nodded.

"Well."

Gwen bit her lip nervously.

"Well."

Gwen looked about. Likely Kevin and Rook were still hiking, a fact she alternated between thankfulness and upset about. She strayed back to thankfulness. Having to explain-all that-was not in her, and she sensed it was not in Ben.

"Hey-you want some Chili Cheese Fries?"

Ben covered his mouth, and then steadied himself.

"Granpa once recommended dry lightly toasted white bread for how I feel right now, and I think that might be a challenge."

Gwen would actually treasure him destroying his arteries with the greasy treat, right about then, for the normalcy it signified. She tried a joke.

"You have to admit, they made a cute couple...oh, I didn't just say that."

Ben was still looking shaken to his core.

"Going at it like that, how'd they have even an ounce of hero time?"

Gwen was showing her own upset by again cracking wise.

"Well, they weren't shy about their feelings-or anything else. And hey, their Charmcaster was much more friendly than ours...ughhh."

Ben sat down in front of a tree.

"EVERYBODY was friendly. With friends like those...etc."

Gwen tried strained logic.

"You know, it's really only in the states where it used to be prevalent that it's outlawed, rather than just frowned upon."

Ben closed his eyes, and knowing she was at least as upset, tried not to shout again.

"You think anybody there cared about things like laws?"

Gwen lost herself in the effort not to fall apart.

"He made really...creative...use of his Omnitrix."

She now gave up.

"Ben, I'm sorry. I insisted we go to that Earth. I liked the numerology, or something."

He shook his head.

"Only because I dared you to be more spontaneous. Oww. Head still hurting. I now know why certain fantasies should always remain fantasies. Gwen?"

"Ben?"

He got up, and placed his hand's palm on hers in a pledge stance.

"Let's say it together, and then agree to never speak of this-EVER again. Even if we're arguing, joking around-unless one of us is brainwashed and needs to be startled, it just never even gets hinted at. Alright?"

Glad to see him resolved, she gained back some of her own.

"Ok. Because anyway-who would we speak about it to? This isn't exactly brunch chat material. Except for looking to lose your brunch."

The cousins spoke as one, sealing away this ugly matter for all times to come.

"Whatever we do, wherever we go, we will do our best to never ever again visit Earth-34!"


	3. A Cup Of Holiday Ewwww

A Cup Of Holiday Ewwww

by Rob Morris

At the Tennysons family get-together, the classic if awkward Christmas commercial played through, and to its finish.

Carl shook his head.

"Don't they know how people feel about that by now?"

Sandra nodded in agreement.

"You might need coffee after watching that-to avoid sleeping and dreaming about it."

Kevin sat and stared.

"Dude. Sibs. Wrong. Just wrong."

Frank offered his two cents.

"Mom would have found this funny. No one else. Just Mom."

Natalie breathed in.

"No. On her worst day, Verdona had more taste than this. Passing Gas? She's there. But not this."

In the back of the room, Ben refreshed his egg nog with more cinnamon, while Gwen stirred her hot chocolate with a candy cane. Listening to the commercial, and then the conversation, he leaned over to Gwen.

"I don't get it. Why does everyone have it in for that Folger's commercial?"

Gwen shrugged.

"I really have no idea. I mean, they certainly seemed happy to see each other."

Thankfully for the peace of the holidays, no one else heard this exchange.


	4. Another Flavor of Ewwww

Another Flavor of Ewwww

by Rob Morris

The foursome left the studio, anxious to make for Anaheim and much Mouse-Housing.

The preview had not gone well.

Rook watched the cousins walk off looking dejected.

"Kevin, did they not enjoy being free-booted?"

Kevin lightly corrected his most recent acquaintance.

"Rebooted, dude. Every couple of years, the animators feel the pressing need to start all over again, when it comes to covering our real-life adventures. Suffice to say, it's never all that pretty."

The young alien shook his head.

"I'll admit a lot of it flew past me. But why are they so upset?"

Kevin tried his best to explain. When both of them were in the same mood at the same time, it was just best to stand back for a while.

"Your character isn't around yet. I'm still a villain in this, not a regular-I think. But well, with our Tennysons - they got creative. Just not so you'd notice."

In the near distance, Gwen had downed half a smoothie before remembering she'd ordered unsweetened iced tea. So she broke the ice.

"Well, they seem to have finally gotten rid of the...subtext."

Ben nodded, his chili fries getting unthinkably cold as they sat there.

"Amazing what a team of family lawyers can accomplish."

She tried again.

"You want my opinion?"

He closed his eyes.

"Right now, I would watch a documentary on identifying different types of dirt with you providing full annotations, if it would drive that animated nightmare out of my mind. So go ahead."

Gwen did just that.

"Okay. Events and realizations made to happen way too rapidly. Character development that forgets the ya know, development part. A large helping of obnoxious, 'just because I can' behavior...way too many potty and passing gas jokes..."

She shook her head.

"...and that was just my character!"

Ben nodded.

"Well, we did ask them to give you more to do in this one."

Gwen gestured at her tea, and Big Chill briefly emerged to freshen it.

"Thanks. Boy, has anyone ever had a worse reboot than us?"

Ben shook his head.

"If so, I'd like to meet them...hey!"

An object sailed around Ben's head, hovering until Gwen isolated it within a mana-bubble. Gwen looked through the bubble.

"It's a note of some kind - WE FEEL YOUR PAIN. But what's it attached to?"

Ben looked closer at the object.

"Some kind of weird red boomerang with-what looks like a stylized Letter 'R' in the middle."


	5. The Girl Is Fine

The Girl Is Fine

By Rob Morris

The Summer Of The Rustbucket, First Iteration

Gwen had met the local girls while Ben was turning back a kaiju unleashed from a mine where the desired product had long since run out, but the company kept on drilling. When both she and Ben called this stupid, she knew it would be a long day.

But Gwen had connected, and they all agreed to hit a local diner known for good fries and shakes. Ben for his part got back to a game whose data was lost to one of the kaiju's EMP Shrieks.

She went for some casual clothes that were still a cut above her normal attire, to see and be seen, as some say. With Max outside, Gwen reluctantly turned to the only judge she had available, editing out 'Dweeb' so as to at least get a coherent opinion.

"So how do I look?"

Ben paused his game, glanced over, and suddenly, his one eye twitched slightly. He seemed to gulp.

"You look fine."

Without missing a beat, he resumed his game. Gwen shrugged and started to walk out. But Max was waiting just outside.

"Change your clothes, Gwendolyn."

She hadn't worn anything provocative. As was said, just a cut above her usual.

"Why, Granpa?"

Max pointed back inside.

"Because Gwen, your cousin, who is hard-wired to insult or belittle you, just said you look fine."

Gwen grumbled, walked to the makeshift changing area, and did as she was told. Stopping to look in the mirror, she grinned.

"He said I looked fine."

Just as suddenly, she slapped the grin off her own face. She glared at her reflection, and her reflection at her.

"Do NOT ever do that again!"


End file.
